Unexpected!

When you go through life always expecting everything on a platter you can rest assured you will be disappointed. I have known people to believe that everything should just be given to them instead of working for it. I am the type of person that sees what I want and I go get it. It has taken me some time to believe in myself and find my self worth, but now that I realize this, it's amazing! I wasn't the kind of person that expected things to be handed to me, but for people to help me out. I have finally achieved this on my own. Here's an example, I found my closure on my failed marriage & I have never felt so good! I finally realized I had to be the one to make it happen instead of sitting on my butt waiting for someone to tell me it was here. Since then, I found my happiness in mostly everything I do. I feel like every door & window is opening up for me. The road ahead is hard, but with perseverance I will succeed. I love this new found identity and this is something I'm going to keep and empower myself with for the rest of my life!!!!! Change isn't so bad after all!!

It's Been Awhile

Well it's been awhile since I was last on here, not good for my grade, but I am making the effort. Alot has happened in the past couple of weeks. My poor little niece has been struck down by some unknown something, doctors are frantically working to find out what the problem is. My sister Heather, my niece's mother, is a freaking mess, I wish I could be there for her in person. My other sister Joy, is great! She has a little one too, and she is a year and a half old & is just too cute and oh so very smart. That baby wows me everytime I speak to her. My daughter is as amazing as every. I received her report card & I was so impressed with it. She made all high marks!!! Grace, my daughter, was also administered a test that is given 3 times a year all the way up to the 5 grade and she improved her already high score, so now she's above average!!! YAHOOOOOO!!!!! I am so thankful I have a child that doesn't struggle through school and have the problems as I did, it can be down right miserable!

Broken Promises

You know I can't stand it when someone makes a promise & then breaks it. My poor girl, she's heartbroken right now because of her father. He always makes a promise, then breaks it, & then I'm left with the task of trying to put the pieces of her heart back together again. Why can't he CHANGE? Is it so hard? My daughter constantly asks me if her father loves her. Honestly I do not believe he does but I won't dare tell her that, it would absolutely crush her. He has been saying he was for two years & 6 months that he will come up too see her. What a crock of BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!! She's getting hip to his BS. All I can do is be there and help her through all this mayhem. For the right reason's change can be good, at least I'm understanding that, why can't he? Please excuse the cursing, I'm very mad as I write this, plus anyone who knows me knows thats me.

Frozen

Holy moly, was it cold this morning! I thought my toes were going to fall off due to the fact they were frozen, haha! I have been told by the people who live here this weather is nothing, just wait until the "real winter" hits. What??? CRAP!!! I thought this was! I feel like I'm living in the Artic. On top of it being freezing cold outside, when the heater is on in my house it just escapes out the cracks of the windows so I think is it really helping? My poor baby, having not one ounce of fat on her tiny body begs me to warm her up. I tell my daughter to look at the big beautiful beach picture we have hanging on the wall and imagine ourselves being on that hot sandy beach just letting the sun kiss our skin all day long. I remind her that we will one day be back on that sandy beach again but this time it will be for good. Oh gosh, I miss HOME!!!

Learning to cope with changes

Learning to cope with everything changing in my life is challenging at times. I wish there really was a handbook on how life is supposed to go. You can only give it what you've got and hope for the best. One major change has been moving to South Carolina, what a slap in the face. Up here everything is different from the terrain to the weather to their southern food. I look out at the mountains and see their beauty but desperately miss my gorgeous beaches in Florida. The weather here is horrible but in this way, snow, sleet, black ice, freezing temperatures and thats just to name a few. Southern food is AMAZING but extremely rich and I've grown to like it, but my body doesn't. If it's one thing I've learned about LIFE, it's meaning is CHANGE.